No. It doesn’t matter if you are the petitioner (the party who files the papers) or the respondent.

No. If domestic abuse has occurred between you and your spouse, you are not required to mediate.

If you and your spouse cannot agree on custody, a neutral third party will perform a custody evaluation.

Generally speaking, the evaluator meets with you, your spouse, and the children. By interviewing you, your spouse, your children, and other people close to you, the evaluator issues a report based on the best interests of the children standard.

Generally speaking, the evaluator meets with and interviews you, your spouse, your children, and other individuals close to you and your family. The evaluator makes a recommendation based on the interviews and uses the best interests of the children standard. The best interests standard is based on Minnesota statute and consists of 13 factors:
• You and your spouse's wishes;
• The children's wishes, depending on their ages;
• The children's primary caregiver;
• The intimacy of the parent-child relationship
• The children's interaction and interrelationship with each other, you and your spouse, and other significant people;
• The children's adjustment to home, school, and the community;
• The length of time the child has resided in a stable, satisfactory environment, and the desirability to maintain continuity;
• The permanence, as a family unit, of the existing or proposed parental home;
• The mental and physical health of all individuals involved;
• Your capacity and disposition and your spouse's capacity and disposition to give the children love, affection, and guidance and to continue educating the children in their culture and religion, if any;
• The children's cultural background;
• If domestic abuse has occurred, the affect it has had on the children; and
• Except where a finding of domestic abuse is made, the disposition of each parent to encourage and permit frequent and continuing contact by the other parent with the children.

It is process for resolving family law matters in a dignified manner and without the courts.

Control and empowerment. If the parties cannot agree on custody, finances, and property distribution, a judge decides for you.
• Privacy. Documents contained in court files are subject to public review. Because the parties agree not to litigate, they won’t need to serve and file motions and affidavits with the court, which are available to the public, and are nothing more than vehicles to disparage your spouse.
• Dignity and respect. No one’s perfect, and you’ve made some mistakes. But those mistakes are exaggerated in the litigation process. Just because your marriage is breaking down doesn’t mean your dignity and self-respect should dissolve, too. It is perfectly natural and normal to be sad, angry, depressed, and frustrated.

The collaborative process involves four people – the parties and their lawyers, and the four individuals work together to achieve a resolution. The mediation process involves three people – the parties and the mediator, who is a neutral. The mediator’s job is to job is to facilitate a settlement, but because the process usually does not involve the parties’ lawyers, you won’t have counsel available for advice. Impasses are more likely to occur during mediation than the collaborative process. The mediator must remain neutral, and cannot offer you advice. Thus, negotiation breakdowns are more likely to occur during mediation than collaboration.

If you cannot resolve the issues and want to go to court, then both lawyers withdraw and both parties start over with new counsel.

It depends on the situation and issues involved. Litigation will always take longer and be more expensive than collaboration.

Collaborative attorneys are trained in collaborative techniques. They have the same legal skills and knowledge as other family law attorneys, but collaborative attorneys are required to have special training in negotiation and conflict resolution techniques. These skills assist the parties in arriving at a true win-win outcome rather than the inevitable win-lose outcome encountered in litigation.

If possible, sit down with your spouse and tell him or her about the process. Give your spouse links to this website and www.collaborativelaw.org. If you don’t succeed, talk to someone your spouse respects, perhaps a professional, like a minister or counselor, or a trusted family member or friend, and direct that person to the various websites. Perhaps if your spouse learns about collaborative law from someone other than you or an attorney, he or she might be more receptive to the process.